Thanks for writing this, it clarifies a lot; your compartmentalisation seems a potent coping algorithim, but I wonder if it’s a universal human default.
Indeed you make a good point. I guess in my mind everybody else is spending a lot more time on, for example, grieving, than I do. But i think compartmentalization is indeed a skill we all have to master to function, and it is probably a minority of people who are unable to do. I think I feel a guilt for not giving each death the mourning I feel the person deserves, although Lord knows I have written way more than my share of eulogies and memorial texts. But I feel like I should be spending more time curled up on a bed and unable to do anything else but cry. Like I used to in my 20s after a break up. OVER GUYS WHO DIDN’T REMOTELY DESERVE IT, EITHER.
Compartmentalization is a survival tool and grateful yoi found it. Glad you have good memories of your cousin’s son, may he have rest in peace now.
Thanks for writing this, it clarifies a lot; your compartmentalisation seems a potent coping algorithim, but I wonder if it’s a universal human default.
Indeed you make a good point. I guess in my mind everybody else is spending a lot more time on, for example, grieving, than I do. But i think compartmentalization is indeed a skill we all have to master to function, and it is probably a minority of people who are unable to do. I think I feel a guilt for not giving each death the mourning I feel the person deserves, although Lord knows I have written way more than my share of eulogies and memorial texts. But I feel like I should be spending more time curled up on a bed and unable to do anything else but cry. Like I used to in my 20s after a break up. OVER GUYS WHO DIDN’T REMOTELY DESERVE IT, EITHER.